Sometimes when I am coaching my clients, I can’t help but wonder: what makes a good coaching relationship?
So I looked closer at my relationships with my clients, and I noticed a few things.
Coaching is personal relationship between a coach and a player. There has to be a strong connection between the two of them in order for greatness to be achieved. Building awareness, building trust, being vulnerable together, are things that make the coaching relationship a successful one.
The coach has to have the ability to listen, not only hear, to really listen to what you say, but especially, to what you don’t say. The coach has to have the ability to catch your resistances or fears even when you notice them, even if you don’t think you feel them.
Basically, the coach needs to be able to see things, patterns, that you cannot see for yourself. He/she/they must be able to guide you away from limiting beliefs towards beliefs that make you flourish, that take you to the next level. A coach is not going to coach you for who you are, a coach will coach you for who you will become (Doc Rivers).
The player, on the other side, has to be open, present and aware. A good coach will first guide you towards an expansion of awareness, because awareness is the starting point.
When you begin to notice your behaviours, your beliefs, when you become aware of your reactions to your feelings, when you start to identify your triggers, transformation begins.
And from there, the two of you will start to build a new foundation, a more healthier one, in order for you to become who you need to become so you can reach your goals.
Because in order for your goals to be reached, clearly you will have to shift. You cannot have different results if you keep doing the same things. And if you are seeing a coach, you probably need bigger things to happen.
And one of the most important things that a coach will bring you, is the willingness to fail. Because when you will learn that failure is not only desirable, but necessary, you will stop fearing it. And when you let go the fear of failing, miracles happen. This also brings the ability to be vulnerable.
We have this habit of limiting ourselves, to play safe, in order to stay away from failure, but behind every fear of failing, lies an undiscovered ability, a superpower, that waits to be awakened and put to a good use.
So go ahead, take that trust fall, release your limiting beliefs and become the person you are destined to be.