Do you know that voice we all have when we try to do something that matter to us?
“Who are you to talk about that? Why would anybody listen to what you have to say? You sound stupid, you look ugly, you have big eyes, you have acne, you have this, you have that, just shut up and stay in your lane”.
I guess that at one point we all get that voice speaking inside our head. And of course, we either please it, and give up, or we dismiss it, and carry on with what we have to do.
While I was in a coaching session with one of my clients, she told me about this voice that keeps annoying her and that blocks her from doing things she needs to do in order to grow.
So I asked her, “what if you listen to the voice? Ask it what it has to say. Why does it say those things? What does it need from you? Have that conversation with your inside voice.”
The next day the client wrote me. “Something amazing happened. Last night I was trying to edit my podcast, and the voice appeared. At first, I didn’t want to go there, but then I started to listen to it. And we sat there and had what almost felt like a real conversation. And the longer I listened, the longer the voice calmed down. The more I realized that the voice needed to be seen, to be listened to, to be heard. It was such a constructive conversation, it was amazing”.
As my client wrote this to me, it hit me. Do you know what they say about kids that are trouble makers and bullies? That they need love and affection more than anything, that they are children who were not listened to, who were not heard or seen.
That inner voice is our inner child. When it’s hurt, it starts to say bad things, so maybe someone will listen. And the more we ignore it, the more we dismiss it, the meaner it becomes.
If we would only listen to what our inner voice has to say, we would have more constructive conversations with ourselves, we would discover ourselves more.
The inner voice and the inner child need a hug. Your own hug. The inner voice is just a troubled child who was ignored and neglected for too long. So go back to that child. Listen. Really listen. Why? When? Where? Why do you feel the need to hurt me? What hurt you so bad that you feel the need to say those things to me? When were you hurt this bad that you feel the need to hurt back? Who hurt you this bad that you feel the need for revenge?
These are all questions that could take you closer to yourself.
When in doubt, go inside.